XVIII Years Clean!

Concentric pink neon hearts and a goofy little flower because, screw you - it's my birthday! ♥ ;-)

Sometimes, I really envy newcomers. Yes, this probably sounds kind of crazy coming from an addict who's celebrating eighteen years clean today. A whole lot can happen over the course of 6,575 consecutive daily reprieves. Although each day clean is a win, some are more victorious than others. This seems more in accordance with early recovery though, not that I want to ever have to use again, just for today. Chances of me surviving another run are probably pretty slim anyway.

Being a newcomer, regardless of whether a first-timer or re-tread, actually sucks except for one thing: newcomers are granted more latitude if for no other reason than that their screwing up somehow, is anticipated. Derp allowances for those of us who have been at this a while, aren't nearly as generous - unless one is very old.

In or outside the context of recovery though, it seems that more and more people are being forced into "newcomer" kinds of roles. Between politics and economics, there's a growing population of society's former contributors finding themselves stuck in long-term unemployment or under-employment. Their sense of self worth all but abandoned, many face the new, previously unthinkable options of having to accept public assistance in some form. Those who remain fortunate enough to survive without losing their families, homes, and other tangible assets are indeed blessed.

Here's where the newcomer disparity draws laser-precise focus. In a productive and healthy recovery community, its newcomers are generally made to feel welcome and reasonable efforts are made to ensure that the newcomer receives the information, skills, tools, and support necessary to become proactive in his or her quest to succeed. Similar can barely be said of our so-called "civilization" which festers beyond the scope and context of recovery.

In recovery we are taught to "carry the message, not the addict." This practical caution has been popularized as a safeguard to remind ourselves that no one should be given an indefinite "free ride." At some point the newcomer will be expected to progress sufficiently enough to become a productive member of society. In our best case scenarios, these former "newcomers" also manage to "pay forward" the practical compassion which had been so freely given to them, to other newcomers. As the recovery truism continues to be said, "we can only keep what we have by giving it away." Maybe one day, so-called "civilization" will truly embrace this principle and make its application go viral. ♥ =)

The Annual Influx

It happens every January without fail. People from all backgrounds do it, some for their first time, and plenty of others who've already run this ciruit. They walk into a 12-step recovery meeting.

Who are they? Why are they here? What do they hope to gain from this experience? Their answers are numerous and varied, but one thing is clear: this is an atypical behavior.

Many common thoughts and reactions often accompany their initial exposure. A cup of coffee is sipped by a newcomer seated toward the back of the room. He or she quietly observes the interactions of others who seem comfortable with each other. Snippets of conversation are overheard, and some of it sounds like spoken code, even though the language is familiar. Who are these people, and what on earth are they saying?

The meeting begins in its traditional manner. The chairperson welcomes those in attendance, then asks if there are any visitors or newcomers. Literature is read. Much of the content sounds like it's related to the jargon overheard earlier. A statement is issued about the group being self-sufficient through its own contributions, then a basket is passed. Is this some kind of cult? Some people are putting money into the basket, but not all of them. Those who don't toss a buck into the circulating basket are not getting nasty stares. What's the deal?

People take turns talking about different things, but it's an indirect exchange. Some express their hardships resulting from the disease. Others gladly share how, through working what they refer to as "the program," they are learning new ways to live. A few more talk about the benefits of participation in "service" activities, like doing various things for or with the group, its members, and society in general. Service? That sounds an awful lot like work. Is this some sort of coffee fueled community outreach?

The newcomer grasps what he or she can of all this confusing dialogue. Initially, much of it may not be understood, but the emotions behind it are. With what emotions and concepts does a newcomer identify? Is there an aspect or two of the recovery represented at that gathering which a newcomer would want for him or herself?

Sometimes those of us who have been in 12-step recovery for a few 24-hour periods forget what it was like at the beginning of the journey. As we enter this new calendar year, it is with the sincerest hope that we keep this truth foremost in our actions: Newcomers are the lifeblood of our recovery. Without our new brothers and sisters fresh from the hell of active disease, we serve no immediately meaningful purpose within the fellowship.

Let's be clear. Specific affiliations aside, if there is one universal theme to be carried, it is that We can (and do) recover. Time of year doesn't matter since each of Us has only today. In reality We are all Newcomers. It may simply have been a while since that One Day chip or tag was acquired. ;oD