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Sunday, May 01, 2011

The Spirituality of Whatever

Not so long ago on Facebook:

"This status update serves as tangible support to the concept that employing the strategy of "Whatever" can be spiritually sound. It beats behaving like a complete asshole. Whatever."


Often interpreted as a dismissive retort, there is a certain spirituality in exercising this principle. In doing so, the intent may be in greater alignment with a desire for peace, rather than to pursue an opportunity for unnecessary conflict. Recovery teaches us that humility and surrender are separate in their own rights. However, the two are conjoined as part of an overall healthier reality.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Owning My Labels

This manifesto of sorts, began as a tweaked Facebook status update re-post (02/17/2011). Due to field input limitations, it then became this note. Thanks again Dawn K., for the inspiration.

I have curves; I'm fat. On the rare occasions I do wear makeup, I might be considered fake. If I decide to get dressed up for no real reason, my motives are scrutinized. When I honestly express what's on my mind while dispensing with all the political correctness bullshit, I'm a bitch. When I cry sometimes, I'm perceived as a drama queen. I have guy friends, so that must mean I'm a slut. I stand up for myself out of self-respect, therefore I'm deemed mouthy. Seems like nobody can do anything any more without being labeled. This realistic, self actualized woman has minimized the effectiveness of what you assume is your ammunition. If I missed any other choice labels, here's your chance to take your best shot. You're encouraged first, to ask yourself if you think I really give a shit. Re-posting isn't necessary, but it's an interesting barometer of like-mindedness.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Herding Cats

Do you ever find that your interests and priorities are so scattered at times, that trying to carry out just a fraction of them seems like an exercise in futility? Organization and logical progression be damned; this is life on life's terms. Or rather, this has been my life on its own terms this winter, and it's become tiresome.

There's plenty of time management formulas which, when followed rigorously, purport the ability to turn even the most haphazard lifestyles into working models of personal efficiency. Really? On what planet? And how many random variables are taken into consideration in any given equation? Skeptical, me? You betcha.

A more sensible approach to goal setting that's frequently suggested to recovery newcomers is to compose a list of everything that person needs to accomplish. Then the list gets torn in half. This strategy aims to reduce the addict's natural propensity towards undertaking extreme all-or-nothing challenges. Sure, this initially sounds like promotion of mediocrity, but this isn't necessarily so.

In my pre-recovery life I was an administrative assistant for an OEM printing industry parts production facility. Even though the corporation itself was small, the responsibilities and skills required to ensure smooth operation were not. This fueled my perfectionist tendencies into the stratosphere for several years. When my disease finally rendered me unable to perform my job in a satisfactory manner, it was a severe blow to my ego. Addiction had reduced me from being The Hustle, to becoming The Hustled.

More about that another time, perhaps. Suffice it to say that the transition demanded learning certain truths regarding surrender, humility, and other things. My previous vocation didn't define me, but it played an integral role in who I was to become.

Back in 1995, a smart ol' coot in the rooms of the Capitol Beltway area, used to lay upon us all manner of knowledge. One of these gems from Tommy D. was that those of us who've been given this gift of recovery will often find ourselves having both a vocation and an avocation. As he explained it, one's vocation is what pays the bills, and one's avocation is the job that pays the soul. Over the course of many years, the lines between what I consider to be my vocation and avocation continue to be inextricably knit together, and I love it. So, what does any of this have to do with herding cats? /me snickers...

33 hours later...

Yesterday, having reached our limits of being home-bound by recent nasty weather, this family's HCIC (a.k.a Head Cats In Charge) decided that an outing was way overdue. Much to our relief and delight, travel to the far away land of West Plains was safe, pleasant, and relatively uneventful. Operative phrase: relatively uneventful. Of course challenges popped up before even leaving the house...

While walking to the car the youngest kitten falls into a patch of loose soil, moistened by the still melting snow. Yuck! Doggone it, her cute new outfit was fresh from the dryer less than an hour ago. No worries, we're going to the park first anyway, and we can pick her up another outfit before going to supper.

At the halfway point of Koshkonong ("Kosh" to us locals) Tween Kitten states that he's so hungry he's going to eat his brand new issue of Highlights. Naturally, Teen Kitten quickly falls into lock-step, and the two begin chanting for food. If Toddler Kitten hadn't been snoring, she too would've joined the conspiracy. We pull off in search of elusive, tasty, dairy-free units of sustenance. Finding safe food on-the-go for someone with severe dietary allergies, can be harder than one might assume. Also, it's downright scary when those whose vocation involves preparing food for others have zero clue what the ingredients are in those foods.

This illustrates a point that the concept of herding cats can represent both physical entities (people) and situations. Evolve, adapt, or die, kids. The world doesn't go on hold to accommodate a select few, no matter how valid the need. Choose the cats to be herded carefully, and be ready when necessary to spent time on unforeseen complications. Roughly an hour was lost as three fresh hamburgers were cooked, then consumed by the kittens.

A few hours later we managed to make it to a long overdue meeting. I was asked to read the Just For Today meditation. That's when it hit me, busy Mom Cat who's usually got more cats to herd than opportunities to enjoy a saucerful of milk sans interruption, that the trappings of life can become stressful as hell when I forget to simply live in the moment. ♥ =)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Inventories "R" Us

Dopeless Enigmaniac - Inventories R Us
Dopeless Enigmaniac - Inventories R Us

Pinterest: Recovery ROCKS!!!




Welcome fellow addicts, to everybody's favorite game show, Inventories "R" Us!

Being judgmental is a seemingly inescapable aspect of the human condition. It may as well be a requirement for citizenship in North America and other locales. But what value, if any, does it have within the context of recovery?

I'll be the first to admit that I can be fairly judgmental, and at some times more than others. This can be both a character defect and an asset. No, I'm not rationalizing a darn thing here. There's something amiss when folks leave steaming piles of bullshit laying around, and few, if anyone, calls out the offending parties. Even fewer will bother to remedy (read: take action upon) the situations when they occur.

So here's the deal. If you're an addict in recovery who, for whatever reason, takes offense at the following poem, first determine why you take issue with it. Chances are that there's some truth contained in its message with which you personally identify.

You justify your insides
By judging my outsides,
But what gives you the right?
That clearance Walmart halo
May be screwed on
Just a tad too tight.

Hey, that copypasta shtick
Is unoriginal at best,
And most of it's
the property of Hazelden,
So try giving it a rest.

Parroting bumper sticker platitudes
Designed to mimic gratitude,
And slogans by the score,
Doesn't earn you the cred
Which can't be bought in any store.

Hubris has a new face,
Worn by those who think they're deep.
Quit spamming the masses;
Instead write a blog
'Cause relentless duplicate wall posts
Come off as hackneyed and cheap.

Time is measured in quality,
Quantity is but a bonus.
Addiction doesn't care
About your time;
The bitch just wants to own us.

Firsthand Experience, Strength and Hope
(now that's some strong dope!)
Are key to how we heal some strife,
Along with service and steps,
To fix this collective broken life.

So, let's get real,
You and me,
Because I can't do
This recovery gig alone.
If we're going to judge each other,
Then let's assess how much we've grown.

Well, that's all the time we have this evening for tonight's round of Inventories "R" Us. The Dopeless Networks are currently undergoing upgrades and other transitional changes. Your patience is greatly appreciated. Please also feel free to tune into our sister station for the continuing adventures of a mischievous yarn junkie.

Friday, November 19, 2010

BringChange2Mind.org

This is a special appeal to all brothers and sisters in recovery for whom mental illness is anything but an "outside issue." We who are dually diagnosed can help effect positive change within our own support fellowships. This call to action is not about challenging established traditions; it's about validating our own self-worth, individually and collectively, within our recovery communities.

Official website: BringChange2Mind.org

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Will #XA Meetings Online Keep You In Recovery?

One would have to be in some form of denial to discount the inherent benefits of attending f2f meetings. Still, there's this pervasive assumption that a large percentage of people in recovery *live* within a reasonable distance to any fellowship's meetings. This isn't necessarily so. Welcome to recovery in rural America where if meetings are scarce, then literature, telephones and broadband (if available), may be a 12-stepper's only reliable safety net.