Stop Perpetuating Faux Sainthood

Dismayed at the increase of people in recovery, who act like their personal brand is more important than being genuinely human. See: #EgoFag — fugi #AmeriSec (@fugitive247) May 8, 2013 IF THE IMAGE ABOVE OFFENDS YOU, KEEP READING

Can somebody please tell me who started the myth that people in recovery are expected to be saintly? Anybody? Hello?

**cue crickets**

Yeah, that's what I thought. So then, why do old-timers especially, seem to get put up on pedestals? From where does this misplaced idolatry come and why does this fallacy of holiness continue unabated?

It was only a little over a century ago that a handful of similarly troubled individuals struggled to connect for the sole purpose of, well... not dying from an addiction, one day at a time.

A lot has happened since 1908, but rather than rehash early recovery history, let's fast forward a bit.

If our original pioneers could see the recovery landscape today, what might their overall assessment be? Of course, this line of pondering leads down the alleyways of "Could Have," "Would Have," and "Should Have." Still, it is a worthwhile question if for no other reason than to encourage those of us on the path today, to examine our realities and priorities.

Yes, this careens broadly into areas which cannot and, really, should not be given credible voice only to those with arguable degrees of authority. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it. Ready? Here we go!

Today, on what marks my 6,547th consecutive day (and a million nights) in recovery, here's only a smidgeon of how I see the overall faux sainthood equation:

• Time (quantity) ≠ Guru (quality)
• Books, speaker circuit, etc. ≠ Guru (quality)
• Service positions, sponsees, etc. ≠ Guru (quality)
• Certification(s) ≠ Proven Application
• ODOP (One Disease One Program) does not work for everybody
• No single recovery program is better than any other, nor are their practitioners
• Mode of expression, occasional swearing ≠ lack of recovery quality

So, what do I consider to be the hallmarks of quality in recovery? In all fairness, I can only offer my experience, strength, hope, and pieces of practical education gleaned along the way. Below, is a quick rundown based on the list above.

• All I really have is this today; I've just been blessed with a lot of them
• Yes, time permitting, I blog. If I write a book some day, it will be primarily fiction. I do not believe in recovery-related appearances for financial gain.
• Opinion: If one feels the need for recognition of their service activities, maybe he/she ought to look at possible ego issues.
• Metaphor for professional or educational accreditation... Putting a saddle on a hamster will not produce a horse.
• There isn't necessarily a one-size-fits-all recovery solution for everyone, so who am I to judge?
• Territorial pissing contests over such matters are as stupid as having an all-out knife fight on an inflatable life boat.
• If you read this whole post and still want to judge me on the image, guess what? Not my fucking problem, sweetheart. ;-)

Adrift in a Sea of Disconnection

By fugitive247 | View this Toon at ToonDoo | Create your own Toon

 

Sometimes it's necessary to step back and throw a flag on a play or two. The situations matter in varying degrees, but often not as much as with how they're dealt. A realistic overall assessment can be had by analyzing some key components.

• Why does this situation exist?
• What's my part in this situation?
• What, if any, are my obligations in this matter?
• Where does this situation's resolution fit within the scope of other priorities?

For many it's normal to react with unproductive learned behaviors rather than to decisively act in a positive manner. If a situation truly isn't one's responsibility then it's far better to excuse oneself quietly, instead of issuing obnoxious, loud parting shots.

Lately though, it's been more a matter of feeling disconnected from... a lot. This sensation has been weaving its corrosive, snaky tendrils throughout all aspects of my [sic] existence to the point where some have expressed concern.

From an objective standpoint it would appear that I'm going through some garden variety Seasonal Affective Disorder, clinical depression, or other blanket diagnosis. Strangers can play amateur analyst to their hearts' content. Friends, however, take the time to say hello whenever concerns may arise about the well-being of others.

The point is that there's no shortage of apathy. There's a popular sentiment that love is the opposite of hate. I counter with my belief that hate is not love's antonym; it's apathy. I cannot rationally expect anyone to pull me out of this lingering funk, but I can project towards others the same positive actions that make my life worthwhile.

12 step recovery teaches that gratitude is an "action" vs. simply an emotion. In this vein, wouldn't logic dictate that "compassion" is also an "action" or behavior? Anyone can claim to care. The difference between an assertion and reality is acting upon that claim.

New Year's Resolutions, really?

There are many reasons for poor NYR outcomes. Much of this can be attributed to a lack of skills for goal setting, which may include planning, developing a support system, or finding at least one appropriate role model. More frequently though, the NYRs themselves are formulated on unrealistic expectations. Ouch.

Realistic or not, there are some goals which are harder to achieve than others. Just ask any recovering addict who's been clean for a few 24-hours -and- has put forth the effort necessary to get more than that which was lost while using. ;oD

Returning to realistic NYRs, how about this list?

fugi's 2010 resolutions

• not get struck by lightning
• not participate in any Ponzi schemes
• knit more of my yarn stash than add to it (gulp!)
• resume bonsai
• reduce household excesses (♥ Freecycle™)
• keep learning, doing and sharing a wide variety of new things
• swear less, or at least more creatively
• remember not to take myself so fucking seriously

Ok, I'm satisfied with this year's objectives. Hey, 2010... Game ON. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.