Perspectives on Being Of Service

Many years ago, a much beloved old-timer (I'll call him "Tommy") was chairing a meeting of a group in which several members were facing some critical life circumstances. A couple of these affected folks were very active in "service positions" that they honestly couldn't perform during the height of their respective challenges. For them being unable, at that point, to carry out their fellowship responsibilities was like adding insult to injury.

Tommy, now sharing his ES&H on powerlessness in conjunction with service "positions", bowed his head for a moment while he weighed this dilemma. As he raised his head, he slowly took in a deep breath. He scanned the room, appearing to take mental stock of newcomers and established members alike. Another few moments of silence passed as he closed his eyes, and again slowly drew a long, deep breath.

He looked around the room again, this time in a loving and reassured manner. He nodded as if acknowledging some message transmitted only to him. Tommy then got a special gleam in his eye, as was his habit when he'd struck upon something akin to gold. Thank goodness he shared it with the rest of us.

"Who here in this GROUP has a service position?" Tommy asked, already knowing. "Raise your hands, folks. Raise 'em high." Hands started drifting upwards, some more enthusiastically than the others.

"Ok, good. Keep 'em up there. Now, who in this meeting has any sort of service position outside of this group?" About a half-dozen hands joined those already raised. The gleam in Tommy's eyes was now accompanied by an emerging grin he was trying to suppress. The wily old coot wasn't quite finished.

Arms began to droop as Tommy wrangled the message he'd received into physical manifestation. "Don't you let those hands down yet- and if you don't know what "yet" means, it's You're Eligible Too!" He scanned our faces again. Some of us had begun to smile because we knew he was about to deliver his coup de grâce.

"Now, you kids who don't have your hands up, this is your YET. These guys getting sore arms may have 'service positions', but they're just like you. Why? Because what we do here ain't all about earning fellowship Brownie points. It's about being here for our brothers and sisters. Sometimes the way any of us can be of service is by letting our family be of service to us- and that goes for all you 'service junkies' too!" Tommy paused momentarily, letting the message take root.

"Ok. By now some of your arms might be tired enough to where you can't throw a punch at me for making you keep your hands raised for so long." Tommy heaved an exaggerated sigh of relief. It was met with appreciative laughter. "Alright, lower 'em. One last thing though, before we wrap up this discussion. It's a question. Will everyone here who is willing to be 'of service' please stand up?"

Every seat was devoid of a fanny.

Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. We who are about recovery are about being Of Service because it's essential to HOW it works.

Medicated America

CAUTION: Video is NSFW/NSFK (language)

In 1999, late comedian George Carlin performed an HBO special entitled "You Are All Diseased." Recently there was a Newsvine discussion of George F. Will's Washington Post op-ed piece from February 28th of this year. In it Mr. Will offered strong examples that the veritable bible of mental illness diagnoses

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*Update* Here's the no-holds-barred assessment of what the implications now ARE for American citizens. Please read and forward this info, thanks!

CONFIRMED: Psychiatric Manual Labels free Thinkers, non conformers as Mentally Ill http://www.federaljack.com/?p=17540

Adrift in a Sea of Disconnection

By fugitive247 | View this Toon at ToonDoo | Create your own Toon

 

Sometimes it's necessary to step back and throw a flag on a play or two. The situations matter in varying degrees, but often not as much as with how they're dealt. A realistic overall assessment can be had by analyzing some key components.

• Why does this situation exist?
• What's my part in this situation?
• What, if any, are my obligations in this matter?
• Where does this situation's resolution fit within the scope of other priorities?

For many it's normal to react with unproductive learned behaviors rather than to decisively act in a positive manner. If a situation truly isn't one's responsibility then it's far better to excuse oneself quietly, instead of issuing obnoxious, loud parting shots.

Lately though, it's been more a matter of feeling disconnected from... a lot. This sensation has been weaving its corrosive, snaky tendrils throughout all aspects of my [sic] existence to the point where some have expressed concern.

From an objective standpoint it would appear that I'm going through some garden variety Seasonal Affective Disorder, clinical depression, or other blanket diagnosis. Strangers can play amateur analyst to their hearts' content. Friends, however, take the time to say hello whenever concerns may arise about the well-being of others.

The point is that there's no shortage of apathy. There's a popular sentiment that love is the opposite of hate. I counter with my belief that hate is not love's antonym; it's apathy. I cannot rationally expect anyone to pull me out of this lingering funk, but I can project towards others the same positive actions that make my life worthwhile.

12 step recovery teaches that gratitude is an "action" vs. simply an emotion. In this vein, wouldn't logic dictate that "compassion" is also an "action" or behavior? Anyone can claim to care. The difference between an assertion and reality is acting upon that claim.

Brand What? Explorations and Motivations

A few weeks ago I said that I wanted to resume explorations of this evolving rabbit hole commonly referred to as the internet. It had been over a year since my site host went belly-up, rendering the earlier incarnation of Dopeless Enigmaniac, MIA. Blog-wise, I was virtually rudderless, not wanting to revive any of my older blogs. Still, I was happily busy with other matters which generally kept me offline anyway.

This hiatus gave me time to think between rounds of diaper changes and other aspects of Mommydom. Not so quietly, I longed to be blogging, mentally composing grand entries while obsessively knitting little things. The subjects entertained were varied, as is typically my pattern. Now that I can write a little more regularly again, there's this movement towards developing personal brands.

Personal whats? You've got to be friggin' kidding me, right? Wrong. Disgustingly wrong, from what I've observed. Deliberately developing a personal brand can be too easily equated with allowing oneself to be profiled, cross-filed, defiled... Shannon Paul illustrates this condition in a decidedly more eloquent and thorough manner. However, I like my summation too:

Labels are for soup cans.
Crap! There's a label on my ass.
It says "soup can."

So, is some disingenuous, carefully crafted personal brand in my future? Ugh. Absolutely not.

Do I plan to commit any form of Web 2.0 suicide in an attempt to sanitize my online presence? Nope. Why bother? If the only impact I ever make is not to be a phony, then I retain both my integrity and self-respect.

Am I going to limit my writing only to select themes? Hardly! The world is full of curiosities, beautiful and horrific, innovative and traditional, humorous and solemn, evocative and mundane. I intend to savor and relate as many of these experiences as possible.

Recovery Spirituality Peg and the 12-Step Hole

What follows below is my response to a Google Wave query on Unitarian Universalist's views regarding health and faith.

The topics of faith and health are each personally subjective from any individual's standpoint. Several studies have been conducted over the past few years which suggest a strong correlation between spirituality and health.

My primary health interest is substance addictions recovery (alcohol, street drugs & prescriptions inclusive), relative to 12-step self-help methodology. I see Unitarian Universalism as being a logical accompaniment to addicts earnestly seeking recovery, who struggle with the 12-step precept of this system's reliance upon an omnipotent "Higher Power" entity.

Tracing back through 12-step history, it's no secret that its basic tenets were initially constructed upon overtly Christian teachings. Many decades later, today's world-wide 12-step membership base includes people from all socio-economic brackets, and belief systems.

What had been glaringly absent from the traditional 12-step model was consideration for Atheists and polytheists in recovery. Many would undoubtedly argue that no such biases exist within the modern scope of 12-step society. Unfortunately, this Pagan has experienced a far different reality, having actually been verbally dehumanized (and even physically threatened!) in meetings for holding true to my non-mainstream spiritual beliefs.

UUism, being all-inclusive, allows for validation of one's self-worth, independent from issues of spirituality. Regardless of any specific treatment model, what recovering addict couldn't find inherent value in this?

Further information on the UU Addictions Ministry can be found on the Unitarian Universalist Association's official website: http://www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/addictionsministry/

Belief systems aside, I find this, overheard many 24-hours ago, to hold some merit (source unknown)...

Religion is for people who don't want to end up in hell when they die.
Spirituality is for those of us who have already been through hell- and don't want to return!

The Annual Influx

It happens every January without fail. People from all backgrounds do it, some for their first time, and plenty of others who've already run this ciruit. They walk into a 12-step recovery meeting.

Who are they? Why are they here? What do they hope to gain from this experience? Their answers are numerous and varied, but one thing is clear: this is an atypical behavior.

Many common thoughts and reactions often accompany their initial exposure. A cup of coffee is sipped by a newcomer seated toward the back of the room. He or she quietly observes the interactions of others who seem comfortable with each other. Snippets of conversation are overheard, and some of it sounds like spoken code, even though the language is familiar. Who are these people, and what on earth are they saying?

The meeting begins in its traditional manner. The chairperson welcomes those in attendance, then asks if there are any visitors or newcomers. Literature is read. Much of the content sounds like it's related to the jargon overheard earlier. A statement is issued about the group being self-sufficient through its own contributions, then a basket is passed. Is this some kind of cult? Some people are putting money into the basket, but not all of them. Those who don't toss a buck into the circulating basket are not getting nasty stares. What's the deal?

People take turns talking about different things, but it's an indirect exchange. Some express their hardships resulting from the disease. Others gladly share how, through working what they refer to as "the program," they are learning new ways to live. A few more talk about the benefits of participation in "service" activities, like doing various things for or with the group, its members, and society in general. Service? That sounds an awful lot like work. Is this some sort of coffee fueled community outreach?

The newcomer grasps what he or she can of all this confusing dialogue. Initially, much of it may not be understood, but the emotions behind it are. With what emotions and concepts does a newcomer identify? Is there an aspect or two of the recovery represented at that gathering which a newcomer would want for him or herself?

Sometimes those of us who have been in 12-step recovery for a few 24-hour periods forget what it was like at the beginning of the journey. As we enter this new calendar year, it is with the sincerest hope that we keep this truth foremost in our actions: Newcomers are the lifeblood of our recovery. Without our new brothers and sisters fresh from the hell of active disease, we serve no immediately meaningful purpose within the fellowship.

Let's be clear. Specific affiliations aside, if there is one universal theme to be carried, it is that We can (and do) recover. Time of year doesn't matter since each of Us has only today. In reality We are all Newcomers. It may simply have been a while since that One Day chip or tag was acquired. ;oD

New Year's Resolutions, really?

There are many reasons for poor NYR outcomes. Much of this can be attributed to a lack of skills for goal setting, which may include planning, developing a support system, or finding at least one appropriate role model. More frequently though, the NYRs themselves are formulated on unrealistic expectations. Ouch.

Realistic or not, there are some goals which are harder to achieve than others. Just ask any recovering addict who's been clean for a few 24-hours -and- has put forth the effort necessary to get more than that which was lost while using. ;oD

Returning to realistic NYRs, how about this list?

fugi's 2010 resolutions

• not get struck by lightning
• not participate in any Ponzi schemes
• knit more of my yarn stash than add to it (gulp!)
• resume bonsai
• reduce household excesses (♥ Freecycle™)
• keep learning, doing and sharing a wide variety of new things
• swear less, or at least more creatively
• remember not to take myself so fucking seriously

Ok, I'm satisfied with this year's objectives. Hey, 2010... Game ON. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.